The Catalyst
by FireStorm1991
Summary: Destitute and alone, Hiei and Botan become unlikely neighbors in the strangest sense. A chance encounter yields to the two crossing paths almost daily, and slowly the two begin to open up about their experiences and most tragic pasts.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

Hey everyone! I promised a new Hiei X Botan fic to come out soon after I completed Trials of Life, and as of this new year, you'll have two. This one is a bit darker than ToL, and the other one will be much fluffier than both. I'm really excited for both projects.

This story was inspired by the song "Children of the Night" sung by Richard Marx, so give that a listen, and the title comes from a song by Linkin Park, which the title itself has strangely enough added to the story.

So without further ado, _The Catalyst_.

* * *

Darkness fell, the night growing colder as a figure standing in his boat looked out into the watery abyss of the ocean. The rickety, old boat bucked as another wave pushed it into the dock. The creak of the wooden dock knocking into metal made the dark, spiky-haired man cringe. For years, this boat had been his home and it was far from seaworthy. It was the one object he received from his father, the last object that tied him to his old life. He had no money to really maintain the vessel. All he had was guts and his own two hands. He had put a lot of time and effort into repairing the major damages of the boat. Even the spot at the dock was a loner from an old friend. He really hated accepting the charity, but without it he'd be living on the street. There wasn't much he could do about his situation or about the knowledge that it wouldn't take much to sink his home. He just accepted his fate.

 _Talk about living on the edge,_ he though bitterly and snickered wryly before taking a large sip of his cheap beer.

The figure, well, his name was Hiei, Hiei Jaganshi to be exact. He was the son of a sailor and a nurse, the latter of whom was that daughter of a very famous, deceased business tycoon. A decade had gone by since Hiei had last been with his family having been tossed out by his grandmother unceremoniously to fend for himself.

It had been a horrible time for Hiei and his beautiful and kind twin sister, Yukina, whom he had always hoped to protect, were separated. The two had been loved immensely by their parents and they had wanted for nothing, not that they ever really wanted much to begin with. Hiei had looked up to his father, the man teaching him to sail when he was very young. Because of his respect for his father's profession, Hiei had always hated his grandmother. She looked down upon the man her daughter had married. The two never saw eye to eye when it came to his father, and Hiei made sure she knew that.

He was thirteen when his father disappeared at sea after the vessel he was on had been wrecked by a storm. It had been devastating for all of them, especially his mother, Hina. To add insult to injury, their mother had fallen ill soon after and had passed away the year after leaving her son and daughter to go to the only family they had remaining…their grandmother.

Despite their differences, Hiei had never expected his grandmother to be cruel enough to turn him away. He and Yukina had packed up everything their parents had of value and sentiment. The boat was left to Hiei by his father for the future, and there were funds to keep it docked up until he was eighteen. It was the only place he could go the day Yukina moved in with their grandmother. The woman hadn't let him even walk through the door. Yukina had walked inside, but then their grandmother got in between them. Hiei and his sister had been stunned, especially when the woman called her butler to remove Hiei from the property. Of course, she had called him many derogatory names. He could still remember the sight of his sister begging the woman to let him stay and demanding an explanation as to why.

He remembered seeing her tears pool at her feet.

Hiei scoffed as thoughts of his old life came to him. It usually happened on nights like this where the seas were rough and he had heighted awareness that he was living in a life or death situation. Though he expected it, he hoped one day he'd be numb from all of it. Maybe it would be a blessing if the wretched vessel would sink with him on it. His fighter instinct would return when he started to wallow, and everything else be damned. He had gotten by all on his own since he was fourteen, and despite living on a damaged boat he wasn't doing all that badly. He did his odd jobs to get food and resources. His health was pretty decent. He had that one annoying friend who would constantly check up on him that paid for the watery lot. He had even seen his sister a few times after she stumbled across him this past year. She had apparently been looking for him. Truthfully, things could have been a whole lot worse.

A high-pitched scream called his attention away from his reminiscence, and he glanced out the back of the boat seeing some drunken man clawing his way at a clearly unwilling woman. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw this scrawny, blue-haired woman frantically trying to pry the man off of her. He tried to tear off her tattered clothing. The whole sight sickened Hiei, not just for the disgusting act the vile man wanted to perform, but because the woman strangely resembled both his mother and sister. His stomach churned in disgust before he sprang into action.

Hiei leapt from the boat to the dock, running faster than most, before he made it to the pair in the street and pushed the drunk off of her punching him in the jaw. The woman behind him choked on her startled yelp. Hiei could hear her fall to her knees. The drunkard cursed at the woman's defender and spat on the ground in front of him before leaving the two there, mumbling heinous words about the woman.

Once Hiei was sure the man had left, he turned to find the woman still on all fours shaking. The whole experience had taken its toll on her. There was a time, he was loathe to admit, where he could relate. As a teen living on the streets, he hated to remember the women that came after him. They all disgusted him, every last woman in existence.

Well, except for his mother, and of course his sister…and now some stranger, apparently.

"Hey," he tried, hoping to garner the woman's attention or at least a word or nod of acknowledgement. But he received nothing, and his brows furrowed. "Hey," he tried again more forcefully sounding a little irritated. The girl finally seemed to look up to him with bright purple eyes dulled by her fear. "You all right?"

"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wha…?"

Hiei sighed and knelt down in front of the woman. "I know that was a shock, but nothing happened. Is there someone you can call? There's a bar down the street that'll let you use the phone for free."

"N-N…" the girl tried before she finally composed herself enough to form a sentence. "N-No…There's no one. No one who would care."

"You're still shaking," Hiei observed as he frowned. "Come on. You shouldn't stay out here."

"No!" the woman shouted looking incredibly distrustful towards the male stranger. "I…I don't even know who you are."

"Simple," Hiei stated matter-of-factly. "I'm the guy who just saved your sorry ass from that fat, drunken bastard. If I wanted to fuck you, don't you think I would have by now?"

His crassness took the woman by surprise, but it did cause the tension to ease out of her shoulders. Whether it was because of his unconventionality or just because his words made sense, Hiei didn't know. The woman seemed to come out of herself just a little bit. "O-Okay," she surrendered. "Th-Thank you."

Her stammering bothered Hiei, but it couldn't be helped. He was sure she'd stop speaking like an idiot once she calmed down. He eyed her up and down and shook his head at how unhealthily thin she was. Hiei wondered if she was some type of model who starved herself for a living. It wasn't any of his business, but he was always the curious one.

They reached the end of the dock, and Hiei hoped on his floating death trap. He cringed before turning back to face the woman. She looked at the vessel fearfully. Though Hiei knew it wasn't the most worthy of vessels, the judgment in the woman's eyes pissed him off. It was still his home, after all. "Look, I know it's not the Taj Mahal, but there's no need to look at it like that."

"Huh?" the woman mustered out. "Oh, no, that's not it. I'm…sort of afraid of boats. It's a long story, but I haven't been on one since I was a teenager. It took me by surprise is all."

Well, at least she was forming complete sentences now, and Hiei lost his defensive bite. Scoffing, he held out his hand. "Come on. You look like you could use a drink."

The blue-haired woman smiled thankfully and took his hand nervously boarding the sea craft. It bobbed in the water as her weight was added and caused the vessel to rock in the water making her stumble into her savior. He caught her with ease. "That's twice you've saved me," she giggled meekly. "And I don't even know you're name."

Hiei chuckled bitterly. "Haven't been asked for that in a long time. Hiei. You?"

"Botan," the woman told him. "My name is Botan."

Hiei nodded and moved to get out a bottle of brandy that had been his payment for shoveling someone's driveway the past winter. He pour two shots out and handed one to Botan. "Haven't seen you around here before," he remarked as he downed the shot. "Live around here?"

He saw the woman, Botan, shudder as she looked into the shot glass with saddened eyes. "You could say that," she hesitated. "What about you? Do you live around here?"

"Tch," Hiei scoffed. "Yeah. You're currently in my home." When Botan's eyes widened, he glared at her. "Problem with that?"

Botan quickly shook her head. "No, I just thought you were a fisherman. Trust me; I'm the last person to judge anyone's living conditions. You're living in better conditions than I am." She then blushed when she realized that she said more than she wanted or should. Hiei's raised brow questioned her, but she bit her lip and shook her head. She didn't need to say anymore to this stranger, even if he did save her.

Hiei didn't press either. He simply gestured to the brandy in her hand. Botan offered a shy smile, taking the shot and cringing as it burned her throat. She never liked the taste of alcohol at any point of her life, but Hiei was being so kind to her. She was appreciative of his hospitality. "It's really good," she squeaked.

That actually made her savior laugh and smirk. "You're a terrible liar, woman." He downed another shot before asking, "What's a girl like you even doing wandering around a shady place like this in the middle of the night? There isn't much around."

"I'd rather not talk about it," Botan murmured nervously. She set the small glass down. "Thank you, Hiei. I'm really glad you were there to help me, and I won't forget it. But I…I need to go now."

Before Botan could leave, Hiei grabbed her wrist, looking away from her. "You shouldn't be wandering around here alone at night."

Botan's eyes softened as a warm smile touched her face. "Don't worry about me, Hiei. I'll be okay. I've been taking care of myself for a long time."

He eyed her up and down once more, disbelieving her statement. She didn't look sickly, but she didn't look well either. "I'll take your word for it."

Those were the last words spoken between the two before Botan hoisted herself off the boat. Hiei watched as she made her way to the horribly paved sidewalk. She didn't look back as she walked away or even as she rounded a corner. Hiei was surprised as to the direction she took, for he knew that her path led to a dead end alleyway. He shook his head in annoyance towards the woman's stupidity. He turned in for the night, figuring that she would figure out her wrong turn sooner or later for herself. He did his good deed for the night, and he wasn't planning to do anything more for that oblivious woman.

She wasn't his problem. He had his own.

* * *

As the week passed by, Hiei had taken to staying up late and being drawn to the stern of his boat. Strangely enough, the first night after meeting Botan had been unexpected. Hiei had been washing the saltwater off his boat to the best of his abilities without being able to take the large vessel out of the water. It had been after midnight, and he heard footsteps. He turned and saw Botan walking down the street towards the same alleyway.

In fact, every night, in the dead of night, he'd see Botan making the same trip to the same dead end alley in the same tattered clothing. She'd sometimes look over to his boat and stopped, but she never acknowledged him any further. She never approached him again, nor did he approach her. He grew more and more intrigued, though, especially since he never saw Botan come back out of the alleyway.

Of course, he wasn't on his boat all day. He always spent his afternoons looking for some odd jobs so he could make some money for food and necessities. Even Kurama would help him, asking his colleagues at work what they needed done around the house. His latest was a woman who needed a lot of repair work done in her yard. The woman had paid him well enough for him to get some tools and supplies for his boat as well as some decent food.

He returned one afternoon with his groceries only to be met with the sight of Botan coming out of the alley. The two crossed paths, Botan looking stunned while Hiei simply stared at the woman impassively. Botan looked far from thrilled and made no attempt to talk to him as she pushed passed him and any other passerby out walking by the water during the day. Hiei's vision followed her until she reached her destination, a building that Hiei regrettably knew all too well.

A strip joint.

If Hiei were a judgmental person, he probably would have rolled his eyes and pushed the thought aside as he moved on with his life. Instead, he tried putting two and two together. Hiei wasn't a fool. Though he had only conversed with the woman for maybe twenty minutes during a nightcap after he rescued her, she had given him more information than he thought.

This scrawny woman had stated that she lived worse off than he had, and she returned to a dead end street every night. She only seemed to have one outfit, and she had looked pretty filthy when they had just crossed paths. To top it off, she went into the last place a girl like her should ever be in, and then at night he'd see her coming down the street looking cleaner than she had mere moments ago.

She was destitute. Hiei could tell. He saw the signs, and it made more sense than that the woman was so stupid that she'd make the same wrong turn every night. His expression became grim as his mind started to wander back to his own past before he forced those thoughts away. Now was not the time to remember what he had had to do before he came up with his current strategy. He didn't have time for any of that.

Again, Hiei felt a stab in his chest at the thought of a girl who reminded him so much of his sister being on the street herself. Despite his hatred for his grandmother, he was always thankful that the woman had looked after Yukina making sure she'd want for nothing. She never tossed Yukina onto the street even if his sister had tried on numerous occasions to convince her to come and find him. The streets were no place for his innocent sister. They were hardly the place for him. He felt concern for this stranger, a rarity for him. If she looked any different, he wouldn't have given a shit, but he just kept seeing his sister in place of Botan and felt ill. This shouldn't be this woman's life. It shouldn't be anyone's life.

* * *

Botan stepped out onto the pavement and saw the moon reflected in the water. A sigh escaped her as she crossed her arms and tried to warm her hands under her armpits. She felt so very tense and cold, frustrated with another day's work. Truthfully, she had never wanted this job, but another vagrant at the homeless shelter had told her that it would be a good option for her. The money was good enough to get new clothes and food, plus the place wanted to keep their girl's healthy. Botan was able to get a shower and a meal and a snack each day to try to keep her clean and plump her up. It was a pretty good deal, all things considered, but Botan hated being touched by unruly men. At the moment, she had no other choice. At least the food was good.

Each night, she could feel Hiei watching her. She wondered what he thought when he saw her disappear. Botan hoped he thought she was just directionally impaired and that her home was elsewhere, however now that he had seen her during the day he probably figured out her situation. She honestly didn't want to walk by him that night, but there was no place to go for her but the alley. It was a dead end street which no one ever visited. It was the overall safest place she could afford to go.

She made the same walk home in the dark, trying to keep warm in her thin, tattered clothing and worn, ripped sneakers. She was lucky she had been given the pair by someone before she left the homeless shelter. For the longest time, she didn't even really have shoes. Maybe once she made enough, she could buy some and a warmer outfit.

It had been years, a decade actually, since she had been living on the streets. She had her father's brother-in-law to thank for that. Shaking her head to rid herself of the thoughts, she tried to think of something happier. Unfortunately, she knew it'd be short-lived. There was nothing happy about her life. Her childhood was gone, and any hope she had died with her parents. There was nothing magical about the world. No one cared about anyone else. She was alone, and wishing on anything would only result in the same story. Nothing.

She never used to be this cynical. Her childhood was full of love, peace, and trust, but everything changed after her father had died. Oh, why couldn't she just stop thinking about it? Maybe it was because of this new job and her living arrangements. If her parents were still alive, they'd be ashamed of her. She was certainly feeling shame. They had raised her to be better than this, and unfortunately she was left with significantly little choice.

As she neared the dock, her mind went to Hiei, the noble stranger who had rescued her after her first night of working as a stripper. The whole night had been awful until he came along. When Botan had first gone, the woman running the place was far from pleased with her appearance. She had taken Botan into a room in the back demanding answers, so Botan reluctantly told her that she was homeless, physically living just around the block. The woman pitied her as most did when she told her tale. The woman admitted to Botan that she was a "pretty, little thing with exotic looks." That had only made Botan feel worse.

Her new boss then explained that Botan needed to get to a healthy weight, so they would provide her a couple meals, lunch and dinner, and as long as she showed up during the day to get ready she'd have a job. She would be able to use the shower area and was provided with a toothbrush and hairbrush. She'd only be allowed to wear the clothes provided before she would join the other girls on stage, and she could wash her tattered wear there, but she would have to leave in them meaning the cold nights would be killer. Well, as least the alley where she resided blocked from the wind, and there were many old newspapers she could use for cover.

Still, she hated the fact that she had to remove clothes in front of people. It had been a week, and she still felt self-conscious. It was even worse when she felt the hands of men touching her and trying to slip her money in the most lewd fashion. The man who had followed her had been one. He had given her many tips during the night, and Botan had nearly tossed her cookies by the leers he flashed her way. She had been afraid to leave, but when it was closing time her boss would not let her stay, afraid she'd steal from the register on her first night. The woman had told her so, actually. The unruly man had followed her as she headed "home." If Hiei hadn't been there, Botan didn't want to even think about it. She wouldn't have survived what the man had been planning to do to her.

Hiei had shown her true kindness. That had become a rarity in her life. She hadn't wanted to tell the man she was a homeless vagrant. He may have lived on a boat, but it was probably due to choice rather than circumstance. She didn't want him to try to do more for her out of pity. A good man like him didn't need a screw up like her in his life.

Lost in thought, she didn't even realize that Hiei was watching her from his boat again. Unlike other nights, he actually made the effort to reach her. Botan gasped when she felt a hand lightly grab her arm. She moved to observe the one who had touched her and relaxed when she saw it was Hiei. "O-Oh," she mustered out. "G-Good evening, Hiei."

"Hn," Hiei grunted. "Back to stuttering?"

"Sorry," Botan replied. "I'm just a little jumpy. Also, I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you earlier. I was running late for work." Well, that wasn't entirely true, but she hoped he'd buy it.

"Again, woman, terrible liar." Damn, he saw right through her. "And I didn't think those places opened until the evening." As shame became evident in her expression, he added, "Believe me; I had to do much worse when I was first thrown out on the street."

Botan's eyes widened. So Hiei, too, was living on the streets? That had been unexpected, and she felt for him. She hated it when people struggled the same way she did. "Oh… For how long?"

"Ten years," Hiei curtly responded. He noticed her astonished eyes grow wider. "What?"

"I've been on the streets for ten years as well," Botan explained. Hiei's mind immediately went back to Yukina. It pained him that Botan's fate could have been hers, but he had to remind himself that she was safe in a warm bed with her oafish boyfriend, however much the man disgusted him at times.

"How old are you?" he abruptly questioned.

Botan hugged her arms around her body, something Hiei used to do when he had felt vulnerable before he settled for crossing his arms. "Twenty-two." His eyes immediately widened. She had been _twelve_? Sure, he had been young himself, but he had been a teenager. There was a huge difference. She had just been a child. What kind of horrible person tossed a child, a little girl, away? "What about you?"

"Twenty-four," Hiei admitted reluctantly.

Botan frowned at him. "Fourteen isn't much better." Hiei's brow quirked in question for her to elaborate on her remark. "I saw how you looked at me. You looked so disgusted."

"Not with you," he countered defensively.

"I know," Botan hurriedly said before chuckling. "Look at us. We're both so defensive."

Hiei scoffed a derisive chuckle. "Anyway," he mumbled, "I figured you could use a decent meal tonight. You're unhealthily thin."

"I couldn't impose," Botan rejected.

"Don't try to get out of it," Hiei ordered. "I'd hate to have to shove food down your throat."

Botan laughed lightly, but it became a nervous chuckle when she noticed that Hiei looked far from enthused. "U-Uh," she stammered. "Um…thank you?"

Hiei answered her with a nod and a grunt before the two went back to his boat. Hiei had helped her once again, though Botan seemed to be less nervous this time around. The woman noticed that the table had already been set with two small, chipped plates containing beef jerky, applesauce, and dried peas. Botan sat down and thanked Hiei, the latter merely shrugging as he ate his meager but satisfying meal. The two said nothing else, and when they finished Hiei assisted Botan back out of his floating home. She bid him a good night and went on her way to the alley.

Hiei turned in after he saw his new "neighbor" make it to the corner safely. He didn't know what had come over him when he had decided to share his resources. He knew he had worked for them, and usually he had the mentality that if someone couldn't find a way to take care of themselves then it was on them and they deserved to fall. The only excuse he could come up with was that he would have wanted someone to do that for his sister had it been her in that position. Helping her the way he had should have been the end of it, yet there was more he wanted to do. It was more that he would have done for anyone else.

The week had been a strange one for him, for certain, but at least it had ended. Oh, who was he kidding? It never truly ended for him. It never truly ended for anyone that had to strive to survive. That was a lesson he lived with every day.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

Thank you to those who read, reviewed, etc. last chapter. It's all very much appreciated.

 **I know this is a little late as I posted this chapter months ago, but I realized that I should have written a trigger notice with this one. This chapter was based on the line of "Children of the Night" "I sold my body to survive…" There is mention of molestation and rape in the flashbacks. I have friends who have suffered this, so I understand triggers, and I apologize for not giving this warning when I posted the chapter the first time.**

 **Also, I will soon be working on the next chapter.**

So, it took me longer than I thought to get working on another chapter. Don't know why…just did. And I even had some stuff planned for it too in my head. I just went back to make some minor edits and proofread the first chapter. I also have so exciting life news that actually helps with where I'm going with this story. I took a boating/boating safety certification class and will ultimately be getting my captain's license once I get enough days on a boat, so now I actually know something about boats (hence some of my minor edits last chapter XD). So I already have ideas on what I can do for this story with what I already planned on doing, and I think it will ultimately make it better, and as I get more experience I'll be able to use what I learn here which I think is pretty cool. I guess that course needed to happen before I could continue, so I'm not fighting it. I just hope you guys weren't too bothered by the weight. Time to get underway.

Also…warning…if any of you actually listened to or know the song "Children of the Night" by Richard Marx, you already know that this story probably won't start off as the most pleasant. This chapter especially, but it won't always be disturbing back story. I hope everyone will bear with me until we get to more positive chapters…

Um…onward? Lol!

* * *

Hiei couldn't believe he had found himself in such a strange position. The conversation was making him cringe. "Are you sure it's safe to trust a stranger?" his sister asked.

Now, the fact that Yukina had decided to visit him wasn't all that surprising, nor was the fact that she had come out of her way to bring him an actual meal. As always, she tried to convince him to come live with her at her boyfriend's place. Hiei had no desire to watch the oaf act all "romantic" with his sister. Seeing them kiss once had been sickening enough. That bastard really should know his audiences.

She had been disappointed, as usual, that Hiei refused her offer. He preferred to stay on the boat, even when it was incredibly cold. There was a cabin that was warm enough. Hiei made sure that when he made money from his odd jobs, right at the beginning of his homelessness, that he bought plenty of blankets and anything that would keep him warm on the water. It was so much colder on that water during the winter months. His father had taught him that. It was basic survival, after all. Regardless, Hiei did not want to impede his sister's life in any way. She had assured him that wouldn't happen, but Hiei knew.

Their grandmother would make the girl's life a living hell.

Yes, the bitch was still alive and already giving Yukina guff for living with her boyfriend. Truthfully, the woman had herself to blame. The second Kuwabara had made her the offer of living together, Yukina jumped on it desperate to get away from her grandmother. It seemed the old woman was hell bent on making Yukina her daughter 2.0, trying to control her every action and career choice, and going so far as to block money from their deceased parents that the oaf's sister, a lawyer, was able to free. Yukina was doing well for herself as a school teacher, and her life was right on track. Hiei was proud of her, both for choosing her own way and standing up to their grandmother, but he had no desire to truly be a part of it.

He and Yukina had been close, but his experiences closed him off to her. Deep down, he knew it bothered his twin yet he could not bring that barrier down, not even for her. She would never understand him the way they always could when they were younger. He was thankful for that. It meant she was untainted.

Of course, it never stopped her from asking questions. He did his best to avoid answering personal questions, and he kept his answers curt and to the point. Yukina would then inform him of her daily happenings. That part he didn't mind so much. When he listened to his sister speak about the children she worked with and the normalcy of her life, he was almost reminded of when the two would listen to their parents talk about their day and vice versa. It was a nostalgic feeling.

He hadn't expected Yukina to stay so long and lost track of time and, when Botan came out of the alley, his eyes were drawn to her. She saw him, also, and smiled at him. Hiei answered with a nod, and the exchange had not gone unnoticed by his sister. A simple "who is she" turned into a concerned lecture on Hiei trusting the homeless stranger who lived in a dead end street.

Yukina was not judging the woman. She knew life on the streets was not easy and that Hiei had had his share of challenges. She was only concerned that Hiei had just met this woman, and so she worried over his safety. But Hiei wasn't afraid of Botan, not after what had happened the first night he met her. "She isn't exactly a stranger," he fibbed, though he planned to follow it up with truth. "A drunk attacked her one night when she was walking back and I stepped in. She's harmless."

His sister immediately felt relief and smiled at him before looking towards Botan's direction. She frowned, though, seeing that the woman looked so haggard and worn. "Is…she warm enough in that?"

"Don't know," Hiei remarked, leaving back on a bench. "We don't always talk about it. We've simply shared a nightcap and a couple of meals. I shared some of my resources, and she has been given a meal by her place of work to bring home a couple of times and she has returned the favor. That's about it."

"What else do you know about her?" Yukina asked, interested. Hiei shrugged. He didn't know much, and what he did know was personal. Probably the one thing he could tell her was her age.

"She's two years younger than us," he replied. "Other than that, I haven't the faintest clue."

"You're lying," Yukina whispered knowingly, "and that's okay. I understand. I think it's good that you've made another friend. You should both come and stay with us."

"Not that again," Hiei sighed, shaking his head. "Look, Yukina, I barely know her. I just know enough to declare her 'not a stranger' and that she's not dangerous. We're in complicated living situations, and I doubt she's looking to move in with two people she never met and a guy she just met. Besides, I have no intention of living with you and that idiot. I told you before, I appreciate the offer but no thanks. I'm fine living on my own terms."

She was saddened by his answer, of course. He didn't fully understand the melancholy tinge to her eyes, but he remembered enough of his childhood to know that his remarks had hurt her. "I really wish you would reconsider," she murmured. "I really miss you, and I worry about your health and life." Crimson eyes met crimson eyes. Hiei refrained from scoffing. He didn't have the heart to tell Yukina he didn't care about those things. His health was fine. His life…his morbid thoughts had to be pushed away for now. "At least…at least come to dinner this weekend. You can bring your friend. I'm sure Kazuma wouldn't mind."

A heavy sigh left her brother, but Hiei nodded his agreement. "I'll show up," he huffed. "I make no promises on her."

His acceptance made Yukina smiled brightly at him making him feel uncomfortable. That was how it was between them since she had come to see him the first time all those years ago. He shook his head free of those thoughts. It was unfortunate that they could not return to simper times.

Nothing was ever simple, not anymore.

* * *

Botan stealthily snuck out of the strip club, looking over her shoulder to make sure she was alone. It had been a bad night, and so many patrons had their eye on her. She had shied away from the men, but her boss had given her a look and Botan had to tough it out. In her mind, she cringed, and she was sure her face continuously displayed her panic and discomfort. Part of her wondered if that was part of the allure, why the men kept targeting her. The thought disturbed her.

She began her walk home, back to the street corner, but she paused when she saw Hiei sitting at the edge of the dock with slumped shoulders. His entire aura screamed downtrodden, and Botan felt compelled to go to him. Botan was not disillusioned; she knew that she and Hiei were practically strangers, yet this strange force brought her to the docks to help him. They had shared a few experiences even if they spent most of those moments in silence. They had built a connection, albeit small, and so Botan wanted to be there for him. They were neighbors after all. They were both destitute. Maybe it was okay to put her faith in him. She wondered if he would do the same.

The creaking of the wooden dock alerted Hiei to the woman's presence. He took in air and released a heavy breath. "What are you doing here?"

Botan took a seat beside the man, her legs dangling over the water along with his. "I…I saw you sitting here alone. I thought you could use some company." Hiei snorted, but he didn't deny the claim. She could tell something was bothering him. He was gripping the dock so hard that his knuckles turned white. "Are you all right?"

"My sister wants me over at her place for dinner," Hiei growled bitterly. "She extends an invite to you as well. Also, we have food for the night."

"Sister…dinner…we?" Botan questioned with uncertainty. "I don't know what…you have a sister?" Hiei nodded and looked out into the water. Botan's expression lit up. "Oh Hiei, that's wonderful. You have a place to go."

"No," he countered softly. "I don't."

Botan looked perplexed. "But you said…"

"She wants me there, but I don't want to be," he explained, his head dropping before he shook it in frustration. "You probably think it foolish, but I have no desire to be a constant part in her world."

"I get it," Botan whispered, relaxing, her excitement gone. "Being on your own…like this…it changes a person. I don't think I could ever return to the real world either. I'm too…damaged."

So, Botan did get it, and thankfully she ended it there. Hiei really had no desire to delve deeply and voice his emotions like she did, though he had to admit the overly sentimental words did reflect the logical way he felt. How annoying.

"We should eat," Hiei grunted, not wanting his sister's food to go to waste.

"I really couldn't impose again," Botan argued, shaking her head. "Your sister made that food for you. You've been helping me a lot yet you hardly know me. I need to figure out things for myself."

Hiei glanced at Botan in silence. He thought he had his pride, but he at least knew never to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Did you miss the part where I said my sister wants you over for dinner? You'll have to get used to handouts like I did."

"Oh," she muttered. "Why? What would make her want to invite me?"

"She saw us acknowledge each other earlier," Hiei explained. "My sister is overly kind to everyone despite having lived with our witch of a grandmother."

Botan frowned and looked highly displeased. "Is that why you chose to run away?"

Hiei's eyes narrowed, his head snapping to look at her. "I did _not_ run away. Bitch wouldn't even let me into the house." Botan smiled, and that only served to piss Hiei off. "What?"

"I got you to talk to me about it," she stated happily, Hiei's eyes widening as he hurriedly looked away. "My aunt threw me out. Her husband was getting too friendly with me, and she thought I was trying to seduce him."

Hiei looked horrified. "You were _twelve!_ The fuck?"

Botan closed her eyes and sighed. "If I told you everything, we'd be here all night."

 _Same,_ Hiei thought to himself. "Then we better move this inside. I think we're both going to need food and a drink. I splurged and bought a couple of beers with money from my last odd job."

"Okay," Botan replied quietly, nervous that they were about to delve into their life stories, or at least enough of them.

* * *

 _It was terribly cold the night he and Yukina had been brought to their grandmother's, the weather reflecting Hiei's soul. He hadn't seen this coming, though he should have. After their father had disappeared at sea, his mother had fallen into depression. He had tried to hold his family together, but his grief hardened him. Yukina spent most of the time caring for the woman when he couldn't handle seeing her like that. It was a devastating sight for both children to watch._

 _Their mother had grown ill soon after, the sickness taking her quickly. Yukina and Hiei had tried to do everything to help her, but their mother's will to fight her illness was gone. She had become a shell of her former self, and that did not make it easier when she passed away. Child services had made themselves known, and they had the kids pack up whatever they had left that they wanted to keep for the state was repossessing the house and whatever remained. Because they were only two kids, they couldn't take much, just some of their belongings and photographs. Yukina had the latter as well as their mother's tea set and parents' wedding china. She had sent those to a friend of hers and had gotten them back when she moved in with her boyfriend._

 _Unfortunately, they had to go live with their grandmother. She had resented their father for his profession and for what he did to their mother, but Hiei knew it wasn't the man's fault. He would always defend his father to the woman, and so she didn't want him around. She had blocked him from entering her home, shocking the CPS officer. The officer begged the woman to reconsider for Hiei would most likely go into foster care and would be separated from his twin. The woman didn't care and had her butler removed them from her property._

 _The officer was driving him to the home, apologizing profusely. He started to explain the process to Hiei who felt so empty and bitter in the backseat. The process sounded horrible, and he was already a teenager. He was less likely to be taken in by anyone. He didn't want to be. His mother and father were his, and he refused to be fully separated from his sister._

 _At the red light, he fled the scene, ignoring the protests of the CPS officer. He would make it on his own._

 _There was only one place he could go, and that was to the docks to be on his father's boat. At least he still had that or there would be no place he could go._

 _Still, it was the middle of winter, and Hiei nearly froze that night._

* * *

" _You worthless brat!"_

 _Botan heard the slap before she felt the sting. She hadn't known what had just happened. On minute, her uncle had her sitting on his lap, and the next he had kissed her, but not on the cheek as usual. She looked at him strangely, not understanding the smile he was sending her way or the way his hands started to slide up the skirt of her school uniform._

 _And then she was ripped off of him and thrown into a wall. She looked up to see her angry aunt staring down at her. Botan couldn't help but wonder what she had done wrong. She tried to ask the woman what she had done to make her so irate when the woman slapped her across the face bringing tears to Botan's eyes. She had never been hit like that before._

 _Her eyes wandered to her uncle who actually looked pretty pleased with himself. He looked back at her and grinned, and she immediately felt sick. The man had never looked at her like that before._

" _Get out."_

" _Wh…What?" Botan questioned, not sure if she had heard right._

" _You heard me," her aunt snapped. "Get the hell out of my house and don't came back."_

" _B-But…what did I do?" Botan whined, wanting a reason for the cruelty._

" _What did you do?" her aunt asked indignantly. "What did you do?! For starters, you killed my brother. If it weren't for you, your parents would still be here and I wouldn't have been forced to give up_ my _life for you. And even though I've been good to you, put you in that private school your mother always wanted you in,_ this _is how you repay me? Trying to steal my husband, you filthy homewrecker!"_

" _What?" Botan asked, shocked, feeling incredibly dirty. She looked back to the foyer where her uncle had retreated and felt nothing but disgust and fear. Was he really…had he really been trying? Tears started to pour down her face. How could he…?_

" _So just get out," the woman continued to heckle. "I don't want to see your face here ever again."_

" _B-But…at least let me get my things," Botan tried to plead. She wanted to get her necklace, the one her parents had given her for her birthday before everything all went wrong. She needed clothes and the blanket her mother knit for her as a baby._

" _Not a chance," her aunt replied, making Botan's face fall. "Leave. Now." Botan dropped her head in defeat, sniffling as she went to leave the house. "Oh please, and drop the innocent girl routine. We both know you're far from it to seduce my husband the way you did."_

 _Something struck Botan, and she turned to face the woman with hate-filled eyes. "I didn't do anything," she argued. "You can throw me out, but he did this. I didn't even know."_

" _A likely story. Get out, you disgraceful piece of shit," her aunt huffed before slamming the door shut._

 _Botan looked back at the house before she started to walk away. It was freezing outside, and she had nowhere to go. Where did normal people go when they were kicked out of the house? A friend's house, maybe? Her mind immediately went to her best friend, Yusuke. He and his mother would take her in, she was sure of it. They hadn't talked much since her parents died and her aunt had put her in private school, but she was certain he wouldn't let her wander the streets, not after what had just happened._

 _He would be there for her._

* * *

Hiei listened to Botan's story feeling more than disgust. In his case, his grandmother was just a bitch, but her aunt was worse, and her uncle was a detestable human being. How could anyone lay their hands on a child in such a manner? The only positive was that the vicious aunt had stopped anything more from happening to Botan. Most likely, the girl would have never recovered if her uncle had gotten any further. "What about this friend? Did he turn you away?"

"No," Botan replied. "Yusuke and his mother were happy to have me there. They were wonderful, but I didn't stay there for long."

"Why not?" Hiei said, completely stunned. What would make her leave that place, a place where she at least had a friend?

Botan frowned as she remembered that day. "His girlfriend thought I was trying to steal him, and a fight broke out. While Yusuke was trying to reason with her, I ran away. I just kept picturing my aunt and uncle, and I needed to escape. I felt suffocated and trapped. So I went back out there, and a homeless woman found me. She showed me where the homeless shelter was, and I lived there up until now."

"That's…" Hiei started to say, but he honestly had no words. "What made you leave there?"

The woman shook her head. "Others need it more than me," she explained. "Someone told me about this club and said I'd be able to get food and a hot shower. I thought I would at least check it out. I feel shame, but at least I'm…"

"It's no way to live," Hiei responded, "if it doesn't make you happy. You should quit."

"I can't," Botan whispered. "I shouldn't have even gone that first night…when you saved me. Now, I'm actually bringing in business, and she's paid me under the table. If I stop going, she already said she's going to report me for stealing and then I'd end up in jail. With no documentation or a name or home…no one would be looking for me. I'd probably be killed or worse, and I'd rather take my chances out here on a street where no one goes."

Her words struck a chord, and Hiei found himself reaching out for her, his hand gripping her shoulder. "You can't stay there forever," he told her. "She'd have to find you, right?"

"It wouldn't be hard to find me," she whispered. "I'm the only one with my 'exotic' looks. Don't worry. I'll be fine." For some reason, he didn't believe her. "So…you had nowhere else to go either…"

"Not exactly," Hiei remarked. "Still, I knew I couldn't live on the ship that winter. The temperature of water is colder than the air, so when the wind blew, it was cutting. I would have frozen to death."

Botan looked incredibly concerned, but at least he was sitting there in front of her meaning he had made it. "Where did you go?" Hiei shook his head and remained silent, anger in his eyes. "W-What…?"

"Where I went was not a good place," he told her before sighing. "It's a conversation for another day. I'm not nearly drunk enough to discuss it, and we're out of beer."

The woman smiled sadly at him, his stomach twisting up in knots at such an innocent gesture. "That's all right. I understand. I should be going, anyway. I have to…work tomorrow…"

"Request the weekend off," Hiei ordered, leaving no room for argument. "If I have to suffer a night at my sister's place, you do too."

"I shouldn't go," Botan whispered. "She'll hate me. I know it." _Everyone else does._

"My sister hates no one," Hiei replied, scoffing a chuckle. "I'd bet whatever money I have on me that you two will end up becoming 'best friends' in a single night, and I never make bets with my livelihood."

"If you say so," Botan replied. "Well, thank you for having me over for dinner. Good…good night, Hiei."

"Good-"

Hiei was struck speechless when Botan moved to kiss his cheek before racing out of his boat. His eyes were as wide as saucers, his body frozen in place. When he finally regained enough sense to move, Botan had already been rushing back to her alley. His hand moved to his cheek.

 _What the hell was that?_

Had it been so long that he had let anyone touch him that her completely innocent gesture had sunken him in. No, that wasn't it. He just wasn't used to contact from women, not since he had run away from one, that poisonous viper. Even when his sister had come to see him for the first time since living on the boat, he had back away from her as she moved to hug him and so she knew not to touch him unless he okayed it. Botan, well, he had skipped that part of the story that would have kept her at bay. Even so, he hadn't expected her touch, and he definitely hadn't expected such a fleeting moment to set him back while still feeling so good and so right. He had to ignore all those feelings. As Botan had claimed to be too damaged, he was certain, as loathe as he was to admit it, that he was even more so.

And it was all because of some redheaded slut.

* * *

 _The next day was warmer, thankfully, an unusual high for the middle of winter. Maybe there was a God after all, and He had heard his pleas all night. Or maybe it was just a coincidence and Hiei had to stop living a fantasy. Either way, he was grateful, and if there was a God, he said a mental "thanks" so that maybe he'd be helped again in the future. Lord knew he'd need it._

 _What he needed right now was to find something, anything, that would keep him warm at night. He had barely slept the previous night feeling pain until his body started to go numb. His father had warned him about being on the boat in the winter. It was cold. He couldn't go into the water or he'd succumb to hypothermia. Perhaps he almost had the night before, but he had had little choice. It was either that or be on the street. At least the cabin had a bed with one thin blanket and protected him slightly from the wind. Being on the street would have been much worse._

 _Hiei walked into a clothing store on the other side of the city, hoping he'd be able to buy something. He had limited funds, but he did have a twenty, money that he and his sister split the morning their mother had perished, just in case they needed groceries. He was thankful that he was still wearing the sweatshirt he had from that day._

 _He bought a few blankets and some new, warmer clothes, and even a lantern. It had been dark the previous night. It would probably be better if he could see. That basically took his whole twenty. He then returned to the boat and put his supplies away while covering the bed. It was then his stomach rumbled, and then it dropped as Hiei realized he had completely forgotten about food._

 _There was a stash his father kept on the boat of bottled water and nonperishable food. Hiei assumed it would still be good. He was probably right, but the problem was this cold weather. The waters were frozen and the food was petrified. He needed a new strategy._

 _There was one thing he could do, he figured, but it would go against everything his parents raised him to be. They weren't there, now, so there wasn't much he could do. He was going to have to steal._

 _As he had, he had gone across town to a grocery store and packed his basket with water, canned juice, jerky, and some chips. He looked around and then tried to leave the store with the basket. He did not go unnoticed._

" _Stop! Thief!"_

 _Hiei took off in a sprint with the food, desperate to get away. He chanced a glance behind and saw that the staff and even their security guard were chasing him. He smirked. He was much faster, and he'd lose them. Well, until he crashed into a woman who caught him. She was as surprised as he was, especially when the store staff rounded the corner and found him. They went to grab him and take him away. "That's it, you little shit," the store clerk hissed. "We're calling the police."_

" _Oh, please don't do that," the sultry voice of the woman said. Everyone's attention, including Hiei's was on her. "It's really my fault. This boy is my errand boy." Hiei was about to argue, but the woman held out some cash to the clerk. "I do apologize, but I forgot to send him with money. He was probably racing to return to me and forgot he had started shopping. Isn't that right, hun?"_

 _Hiei said nothing and just looked away, blushing. He didn't need some woman to bail him out. Apparently, though, the store staff bought it and took her money. "Well, he shouldn't have run then," the man stated looking to Hiei. "Next time, stop and explain your situation or you'll find yourself in a situation you can't get out of. Clear?"_

" _Crystal," Hiei scoffed._

 _The woman smiled. "Let's go home now, sweetie," she chimed, taking the basket and Hiei's hand. The teenager bit the inside of his mouth, but said nothing as he left the woman drag him around. Once they were away from those shop guys, the woman laughed lightly and said, "You owe me."_

" _Whatever," Hiei grunted. "I didn't ask for you to step in."_

" _But you benefited," the redhead responded. "Now, why don't you come back to my place? I have some work that needs to be done around the house, and my husband never does anything. I'd_ love _to have such a strapping, young boy help me. I'll pay you good money, and you can stay for as long as you need."_

 _The offer was too good to be true, and Hiei was desperate. He accepted the woman's offer for her knew he wouldn't survive the winter otherwise. "Fine, but can you at least tell me your name first?"_

 _The redhead grinned in victory. "Ruka."_

* * *

Hiei nearly threw his empty beer can across the boat, pissed that he had been prey to that snake. Ruka had been the bane of his existence, and he had fallen for her trap hook, line, and sinker. It ashamed him to know he had been so desperate that he would have taken any offer. Even when Ruka made her intentions known, he stayed because he had nowhere else to go. Disturbingly enough, he had basically become a prostitute as a fourteen year old boy.

* * *

 _He had been living with Ruka for a month, now, and the woman was very kind to him. She cooked for him, let him watch the T.V. when he wasn't working, and even comforted him when he had nightmares sleeping in his bed with him. For a time, he took the comfort feeling like his mother was still with him. He missed her so much, and Ruka was offering all the comfort his mother had. He had been happy she had found him._

 _The woman deserved better than what she had. Her husband was lazy when he was home, hardly spent time with the woman, and then he would work away from home for months at a time. Ruka was lonely, and Hiei was happy to give the woman company and a shoulder to cry on. Little did he know that all those tears were a lie._

 _Her husband hadn't paid him any mind. To be honest, he was just glad someone was making the repairs his wife demanded of him. He was a businessman, not a handyman, and Hiei seemed to know what he was doing. His wife had wanted to do this nice thing for the homeless boy instead of leaving him on the street, and it made her happy so he left it be._

 _One night, though, everything changed, and Hiei's platonic love turned to burning hatred. He had been painting one of the rooms when he felt Ruka come up behind him. His mind was on full alert, his brows furrowed in confusion before he felt her tongue on his neck. He gasped. "Ruka, what are you-?"_

 _She pushed him against the wall, the fumes of the paint and her tongue down his throat making him feel ill. He tried to push her back, but she was surprisingly strong. Her hands went down low and he felt even sicker when she touched him in such an intimate way. He knew what she wanted, but he didn't want that. He finally found the strength to push her off. "The hell was that?" he shouted, feeling extremely violated._

 _Ruka merely smirked. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "I want you, Hiei, and I know you want me too."_

 _Bile nearly made its way up, but Hiei swallowed and kept his wits. "You're delusional," he countered. "I've never once thought-"_

" _Sure you have," Ruka teased, making her way towards him again. Hiei could go nowhere. He was trapped as her hand went back to his abdomen. It began to slide lower making Hiei's head fall back against the wet paint. "I can feel that you want me."_

" _That's a reaction," Hiei practically whimpered. "Nothing more."_

" _And?" Ruka retorted. "Come on, Hiei. I need this._ You _especially need this. You've been feeling so low, lately. Let me make you feel like a man. I need to feel like a woman again."_

 _Young and naïve, the words were starting to affect Hiei. "No," he whispered. "It's wrong."_

" _But it can feel so right," Ruka said, taking his hand as his will began to crumble. "Let me show you."_

* * *

He had let her show him what it felt like, but he felt like no man. He was a disgrace. He had slept with a married woman, and she had paid him extra afterwards. Every time her husband came home, Hiei felt like a true heel. What was worse was that Ruka kept coming to his room every night, fucking him while covering his mouth so that her husband wouldn't hear. Each time, Hiei tried to fight her off and say "no," and one time she tied him down while he was unconscious after a hard day of fixing up the roof. Hiei felt disgusting, and his hatred for the woman began to grow. He felt so foolish for ever letting her in.

It had been around the anniversary of his mother's death that things took a turn. Earlier in the year, he had been watching a self-defense program when Ruka was out with her girlfriends before she would return home and use him. Eventually, he started to build even more muscle and he took pride in that. He could look at himself in the mirror, though now his eyes were cold and guarded. He and Ruka no longer talked. He no longer allowed her to comfort him. He purchased a lock for his door for when he truly wanted to be alone, for example, the days of his parents' disappearance/death.

* * *

 _It had been the anniversary of Hina's death, and Hiei was hit hard by it. He didn't know if his mother could hear him, but he begged her to be there with him and to help him get through this. He was so close to running away. He had decided he would leave that night._

" _Hiei."_

 _The teenager froze at the voice of Ruka's husband, looking back at him fearfully. The first question that popped into Hiei's mind was: Does he know?_

 _He couldn't have. The man was smiling at him. "I know what today is," he admitted. "I hope you won't hate me for this, but I decided to run a background check on you through my job."_

" _How?" Hiei asked. He had never given his full name or his social security number. To be honest, he didn't even know the latter._

" _It was quite complicated," he explained. "See, you looked familiar to me, so I asked around, and someone recognized your first name. To be honest, boy, your mother's father was the one who built the company I worked for. So I did some digging. I had no idea how you would have ended up on the street. I'm very glad my wife found you. Your grandfather was a good man, and I'd like to pay him back for everything he had done for me, and what I mean by that is…how would you like to go away for school? There's an excellent private school an hour away. That was where he had sent your mother when she was your age. I'll even hire a tutor there to catch you up."_

" _Are…are you serious?" Hiei questioned. It was yet another too good to be true offer. It would get him away from Ruka forever, but how could he accept. He was screwing around with the man's wife, even though it was all forced. Maybe, though, this was his answer. He could get away, get an education, and actually make something of himself. He grinned. "I don't know how I'd ever be able to repay you."_

 _The man waved him off. "Your grandfather gave me a job when no one else would. I wouldn't be who I am today if not for him. I'm simply returning the favor."_

" _When do I leave?"_

" _Tomorrow."_

* * *

Tomorrow had come, but Hiei had gotten screwed the night before Ruka's husband was to send him away. He had packed up all the belongings he wanted to take, nothing really sentimental as all of that stuff was on his dad's boat. He wouldn't had anything there that mattered to him once his hatred for Ruka increased, and speaking of she was the one who messed up his chances.

* * *

 _Hiei had packed up all of his clothes and was ready for bed. He hoped that Ruka wouldn't come to him with her husband home, but he couldn't be so lucky, as she slammed into his room. Damn, he wished he hadn't forgotten to lock the door. "How dare you?"_

" _What?" Hiei grunted, ignoring her. "And there is such a thing as knocking, bitch."_

" _Watch what you call me," Ruka hissed. "What is this I hear about you leaving?"_

" _Simple," Hiei clipped. "Your husband offered to pay for my education, and I accepted. I'm sure you heard I'm leaving tomorrow."_

" _But what about us?"_

 _Those words nearly made Hiei vomit. He coughed lightly trying to rein in his disgust. "Us? Ruka, there is no 'us?' There never was. You raped me."_

" _You enjoyed it," Ruka snapped._

 _Hiei shook his head. Physically, maybe, but he hadn't wanted it. Emotionally, he was just so damn tired, and he wanted to go. He would be a fool if he didn't. "There's nothing for me here," he said, trying his best not to anger her. He wanted to get out with no incident._

 _Again, he couldn't be so lucky. Ruka practically attacked him, trying to undress him, unbuttoning his pants. Hiei probably shouldn't have yelled at her to stop, nor should he have pushed her off of him, for her husband entered the scene, and it looked rather bad for Hiei. Red eyes met the man's brown ones full of betrayal. "This isn't what it looks like," Hiei tried to say, but the man simply dragged Hiei out of the room and tossed him out on the street again._

" _I offer to pay for your schooling and this is how you repay me?" the man snarled, screaming into the street over the rain. "Get out of here, only warning! If I ever see your face here again, I'll call the cops!"_

* * *

Hiei learned many valuable lessons from the experience. One, if something seemed too good to be true, it was. Two, if someone offered assistance for nothing in return then they had a hidden agenda. Three, he needed to be tougher so that no one would ever take advantage of him again. And finally, the world was a cruel place and no one could be trusted.

He kept to that for the longest time. Eventually, his and Yukina's childhood friend, Kurama, came back into his life, and Yukina had also, but he only placed minimal trust in either of them. By the time they had even found him, Hiei was far gone. After dealing with Ruka, Hiei had been given shelter by other women. As disgusted as he was with himself for what happened with Ruka, eventually he came to find that odd jobs weren't always easy to come by, especially to someone who had no background. Hiei was a vagrant, and unfortunately he attracted the worst kind of people. He had even run with a gang for a time, but that made him hate himself even more than fooling around with women. At times, he caught himself wondering what his father's teenaged years were like since they looked so similar. He hoped not. After Ruka, though, Hiei never let any woman humiliate him the way she had. The worst he let happen was an occasional kiss or touch, and that was rare. At least none of those women were married like Ruka had been.

Because of his experience with Ruka, Hiei never stayed anywhere for too long, and he never lived with a woman again until the following winter. He had gotten ill staying on the boat, and another redhead appeared. She had stopped in front of him one day and just stared at him as he glared at her and went back into the boat. The next day, she had stopped by again with a carton of soup. Hiei had been reluctant to accept it. The woman could have drugged in. She must have read his mind for she took off the lid and sipped from it before handing it to Hiei. He had silently invited her aboard the vessel.

The woman's name was Mukuro, and if there was ever a woman he could relate to before Botan it was her. She had been the source of income for a while giving him many menial tasks, and she had even let him stay with her for the winter. The two shared similar experiences, though her father had practically solicited her body to his business partners. She had run away from that life and made her own way. Hiei probably would have stayed with the older woman longer had he not developed some kind of feelings for her, mostly based on trust. He never wanted to trust another woman again. He _couldn't_ go through that again.

Mukuro had seen the eyes of a victim like she had been when he glared at her that day. She had told him that herself. He had never once confided that in her. He just never confirmed or denied it. She never asked what happened, and Hiei was fine with never telling her. He was free to come and go, but once he started feeling anything towards her he left. Now, he felt like he had put himself in another horrible position, though this time it was an innocent girl who was so much like him that it was almost scary.

Botan seemed too good to be true, but she wasn't. There was nothing about her that screamed perfect. She was just some woman who wore tattered clothing and worked in a place that Hiei would never wish for his worst enemy. She had offered him a couple of meals for he had done the same for her, but she hardly expected him to continuously feed her. She always tried to fight him, and he was the one who needed to force her to accept. She was a weak physically and could do him no harm, but that came with the price of being vulnerable to those who could cause her pain, and he actually found himself wanting to protect her…and why? Because she happened to resemble his mother and sister and had been a wakeup call.

She was also the first woman to kiss him on the cheek save his mother and sister, and Yukina hadn't done so in so long after he flinched the first time she had tried. It wasn't an attempt to seduce him or earn his help. All it was was an innocent gesture that a woman he aided had given as her thanks because she had hardly anything else to give. It was a sign of trust and openness to him and only him because she had no one else. It was the go ahead signal that Hiei could manipulate her if he were that type of man.

It was something he couldn't let happen again.

He had already opened himself up to her more than he thought he would. Truthfully, he had wanted to stop himself not just because he wasn't drunk enough to discuss Ruka but because he didn't want to talk to _anyone_ about her, yet he could see himself doing just that with Botan. He had hoped to avoid thinking about the snake by ending the conversation, but Botan's harmless token had sent him spiraling down that void.

Just what new kind of hell did he just bring into his life?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

…I have no excuse for why it took so long to work on and update this story when it's almost planned out to it's entirety…..lol! Anyways…

Onward!

*rushes to story*

* * *

Botan couldn't believe she was where she was.

Despite all Hiei had said a few nights before, Botan had been hoping he'd forget about bringing her to his sister's. Of course, she had asked off, just in case, because if he _did_ remember he would force her to go. It was awkward as anything, going into a stranger's home, especially looking the way she did. Hiei had been right, though. Upon entering the apartment of this new woman, a new outfit was waiting for her to replace her current rags. Botan forced herself not to react as she took the clothing. In her mind, a scream to run kept echoing. She was there for Hiei. After all, he looked more out of place than she did, and this was his own sister.

She was a complete sweetheart.

Botan could understand why Hiei was reluctant to be around the girl, not because Yukina deserved that, but because her innocence and naivety were way up there. The blue-haired girl remembered a time where she acted like that. She was a giver herself, but now she barely had anything to give except her strip club salary. She had yet to use that on herself, donating it to the homeless shelter where she once lived. She could handle this pain better than others, and so she wanted to prevent anyone else's suffering. Besides, Hiei had become someone she could rely on, as scary as that was. She only hoped she could pay him back for everything he had already done.

Hiei disappeared the second they entered the second floor apartment. Botan couldn't believe he left her with his sister, but then she was reminded that Hiei really didn't owe her anything. Yukina was very kind to her, offering her tea as if she wasn't some lowly destitute. She even used this beautiful tea set, and the table was set for dinner with lovely china.

"These plates are beautiful," Botan marveled before she mentally slapped herself for the potentially offensive remark. _What the heck was that? Don't you remember how to talk to people?_

Yukina smiled brightly, her eyes lit with pure elation. "Thank you," she replied. "The tea set was our mother's, and the china was our parents' wedding china." A sad smile replaced the joyous one. "Any time I can convince Hiei to come over, I use them, if only to remind him of better times."

Awkwardness settled in Botan's being when Yukina offered up such personal information, and she didn't know how to process it. "Excuse me," Botan said, getting up from the table and leaving the teacup behind. She went into the living room, not noticing Yukina's concerned crimsons on her. Away from the other woman, Botan took in a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm. She was starting to feel completely stressed and agitated, all of this triggering scenes from her past.

And then she saw a whole bunch of photos over the fireplace, and her curiosity interrupted her conniption.

Botan had always been a curious child, and now that she was in a sort of friendship with her seaside neighbor she couldn't help but be drawn to the photographs his sister had of the two of them as children. There were pictures of them with their parents, everyone wearing bright smiles, including Hiei. She frowned, realizing that she hadn't seen a smile like that since she had met him. For some reason, that thought hurt her heart, a dull ache appearing in her chest.

Her eyes continued to rove the pictures, but then she froze, her heart racing when she saw pictures of Yukina with someone that was regrettably familiar.

She knew the teal-haired twin was living with her boyfriend, but why in world did it have to be Kazuma Kuwabara, best friend to her friend Yusuke. Amethyst eyes widened as panic began to set in. He couldn't see her. He'd tell Yusuke he'd run into her and that she was destitute, and then she'd mess up everyone's life all over again.

Meanwhile, Hiei had been having his own internal dilemma, hiding out somewhere in the apartment. He felt bad for leaving Botan with his sister, but he knew she'd be fine. He hadn't been to Yukina's place in ages, and as unintentional as it may have been, the apartment had been set up like their old home. It brought back memories, and the china did not help. Yes, most of those memories were good, but they were lost and never going to come back. For the first time in a while, Hiei felt completely unsettled being around his sister.

He finally returned to Botan to see her looking at the pictures.

There was no way to miss Yukina's shrine of their life. It was one of the reasons Hiei avoided the living room like the plague if he could. Usually, he made it as far as the kitchen, maybe the dining room. The china reminders were enough for him, too much at best.

"Hey," he greeted the woman, and Botan practically jumped out of her skin. Hiei's brows furrowed. "What is it?"

"I need to get out of here," Botan replied, exasperated. "H-He can't see me here."

"Who?" Hiei questioned even more confused.

"Kuwabara."

A thousand more questions raced through Hiei's mind. The one that took precedence was, "How the _hell_ do you know that oaf?" If she did, Hiei doubted there would be any reason she was on the streets. Kuwabara was a lot of negative things, in Hiei's mind, but the couple of positives that shone were that he was honorable and had a bleeding heart. There was no way he or anyone in his family would let one of his friends live on the street like Botan was.

"He's friends with Yusuke," she breathed out, on the verge of panicking. "H-Hiei…I'm sorry. Please…tell your sister that I'm very grateful to her for thinking of me, but I just can't…I won't go back there and make a mess of everyone's life again."

Her concerns were not unwarranted. If Kuwabara knew her friend, he'd have him come over and then both Hiei and Botan would be in the middle of a chaotic scene, a reunion the woman didn't want, and Hiei did not want to get involved. His better option would have been to let her go without another word and continue their bizarre friendship as neighbors. Instead, he stated, "Let's get out of here then."

The blue-haired woman looked into his crimson eyes, hers full of anxiety. "But…your sister…you should…"

"I don't want to be here anymore than you want to be," he admitted. "I can deal with Yukina later. It's getting dark. You're not walking home alone."

Botan thought of her history at night and nodded, accepting Hiei's help albeit reluctantly. Yukina was in the kitchen, preparing the night's meal, so it was easy to slip away. Part of Botan felt guilty for leaving the kind woman alone in the dark like that, but she couldn't risk Yusuke finding out about her. He'd find her and go to her, try to force her to stay with him until something better came along while pushing the buttons of his girlfriend Keiko. Sure, they were only teenagers back in the day when Botan ran away. All of her friends probably grew up and were understanding. Botan grew up in a different way, and it was nothing anyone would be able to understand. Her eyes shifted to Hiei who walked beside her, no anxiety in his eyes as they fled. Well, almost anyone.

Hiei brought Botan back to his boat having had some leftover food from his nonperishable stash. He offered her that food, but Botan shook her head and tried to deny his kindness. She made the move to leave, but Hiei stopped her. Amethyst eyes widened as words she never expected were spoken.

"I won't let you go hungry."

* * *

" _I won't let you go hungry."_

 _Those were the words spoken by Hiei's and Yukina's childhood friend, Kurama. He hadn't seen the teenager in years, not since his mother died. It had been quite a bit of time after Ruka, but that bitch had kept true to her word. Actually, it was more she had kept true to her husband's words. Despite the fact that Hiei never appeared before either of them again, Ruka had found him months later. By that point, he had been in a couple of other disturbed situations with females, but_ nothing _like what the viperous redhead had put him through._

 _Days after that, the cops had come for him, arresting him for sexual assault against the older woman. She had played a pitiful act of tears and claimed PTSD. He was in prison for days, beaten by many of the inmates for having beaten and raped a woman regardless of the fact that it was the other way around. He almost hadn't survived._

 _By some stroke of fate, Hiei's grandmother had been called. The woman hadn't cared about him, her disgrace, but Yukina must have overheard something and called their childhood friend. Kurama's stepfather was a lawyer, and they had appeared to Hiei to help. The teenager was on his last life, and an emergency trial was called. Kazuya managed to get him out, and eventually Ruka's deceit came out because of the therapist who questioned both her and Hiei. Whoever it was saw through her ruse and could see the signs of abuse in Hiei. That led to Ruka's divorce from her husband, but the man still refused to aid Hiei after everything._

 _With nowhere to go, Kurama's family took Hiei in, and he stayed with the family for a while. He could not get past their loving home. It triggered him, bringing back too many memories that suffocated him every night. When he couldn't take it anymore, he ran away in the middle of the night, climbing out Kurama's bedroom window._

 _Kurama found him knowing he would have returned to his boat, and hours later brought Hiei a box full of food. He had said those words when Hiei tried to deny the hospitality. That day, Kurama promised he'd never abandon Hiei and he'd support his choices. That's what friends did for one another, and Hiei clearly had a lot of demons to face on his own._

* * *

Botan gaped at Hiei after he told her what happened, even going as far back to discuss the woman Ruka. It had come out of nowhere after Hiei demanded she stay and eat. When Botan asked him why he bothered, he told her it was what a friend did for him, and that led to them discussing why he had to.

"How did he find you?" Botan questioned.

Hiei shrugged. "I asked him, and all that crafty fox said was that he found my particular boat because it was the only one where the name was fading, wearing off. Eventually, when my funds for the dock ran out, Kurama started picking up the slack. He never had to, but he didn't leave me much of a choice. He did it without my knowledge."

Botan smiled forlornly. "That's a great friend," she told him. "I'm kind of jealous. At least he let you figure yourself out, didn't force you to come back."

"I couldn't, not with what I experienced," Hiei told her. "I was no longer a child. There was no gray in the world. The only certainty I had was a boat that was pushing closer to death, and it's still breathing."

"Is the name still there?"

Hiei shook his head. "It's completely gone, now. I haven't gotten around to fixing that. I can only rationalize the necessities."

"What is the boat's name?" Botan inquired.

The man flashed her a surprised glance having not expected the question. No one had ever asked or cared before, but this woman wanted to know. _"The Catalyst,"_ he told her. "This boat was what sparked my father's dream to become a sailor. He was a good man."

"I'm sure he was," Botan offered. "He had to be to raise a son like you. He would be proud."

Hiei grimaced, not believing the woman's words. In his mind, his father would be disgraced. He certainly felt like he was one. Though it had been years since any woman had taken advantage of him, the scars were still there covering his hardened heart. He did not feel like a man let alone a good man, and because of that he would never live up to his father's legacy. His heart felt stale and cold due to that acceptance.

"Kurama was the one to get me started on odd jobs, finding people he knew who needed stuff done," Hiei continued, changing the topic away from her overly sentimental words. "It helped, and it gave me something to do other than reliving my shitty life in my mind. Gave me funds so I could by supplies. It really just depends."

Botan nodded, understanding that. Utilizing her resources was something she understood well. Once again, she was reminded of her salary. She knew she could use it to get low income housing and get food for herself and get slightly better conditions, but she had resolved herself years ago to just get by. There were others merely starting out on their homelessness who deserved better conditions who hardly knew how to live without them. She picked up a few items before donating the rest. Her mind lit up at that thought, though, and she looked over to Hiei. Maybe she could pay him back for his hospitality after all. She owed him so much already.

"So what about you?" Hiei questioned, and Botan's eyes nearly bugged as they met his.

"M-M-Me?"

The man scoffed and shook his head. "Again with the stammering…aren't we past that shit?"

Botan was about to apologize, but she noticed his hint of a smirk and laughed lightly. He was teasing her. "Yes, well…" she began. "While you were going through all of that, I was jumping from homeless shelter to homeless shelter. I was only thirteen years old. It was shortly after Keiko got jealous and I ran just trying to get away. Every place I went would call CPS, so I would go late when no social workers were working and sleep and then leave early before anyone came the next day. Once I hit a certain age, they just stopped coming for me altogether."

A silence settled over them, and then a gust of wind went by rocking the boat and causing Botan to panic. She grabbed onto the seat in which she was sitting and clenched her eyes tightly shut. Hiei couldn't help the derisive chuckle that escaped him. He had never been that way with a boat before so it was hard to imagine anyone's fear. "What's with you and boats?"

* * *

" _What's with you and boats?" her father questioned when the newly twelve-year-old Botan requested to go out into the harbor on her birthday. He chuckled when she smiled brightly. "Well, alright. I'm sure your mother and I can arrange something, right hun?"_

" _Absolutely," the woman said with mirth. "After all, we are celebrating our favorite girl's day. Let me make a call, and we can maybe have a picnic."_

" _Yay!" Botan chimed, clapping her hands happily. She didn't know it then, but she would only have a few moments of happiness left in her young life._

 _It had been her birthday, and she really wanted to go out on a boat. Her parents had chartered one before, and she could not get enough of the ocean air. Neither of them were really boating people, but her father knew how to handle one. It wasn't that hard, he said, like driving a car only easier. Even ten-year-olds could do it._

 _That day they ended up getting a smaller boat than Botan was used to, but she didn't mind. It was just the three of them. Her parents weren't close with their families, so Botan never really had big parties, but she enjoyed every minute with her mom and dad. They were her rocks, her everything._

 _The current was good that day, the sun shining. The way the light hit the water made it sparkle, and Botan knelt at the bow of the small boat laughing. Her parents were behind her, exchanging smiles. They really loved their daughter. She was always drawn to the water, always loved racing over the waves. Everything was peaceful._

 _Then, later, it wasn't._

 _It started when Botan asked her father to go faster, and the man obliged. And as he sped on the open water, another boat appeared in view, and both drivers needed to get out of the way fast. On such a small boat, top speed, turning quickly as a wave hit, the boat capsized, and all three passengers sent flying. Being a child, Botan had been wearing a life jacket, but neither her mother nor father had been. The girl looked around frantically, hoping to see her mother or father surface, but neither of them came. Botan's heart was beating rapidly as she struggled in the water._

 _Whoever had been on the other boat had come over to rescue her, calling in the accident. There was a rescue diver on that boat, and he assured Botan she'd be okay, but her heart sunk. She knew what happened. And it was all her fault for asking her father to go faster._

 _The coast guard came, assisting in the search, but neither of her parents had survived the crash. Botan didn't know for certain. The officers would not let her see the bodies of her parents, not right now. Her body wracked with sobs as she blamed herself to everyone around her. It didn't matter to her that they said it wasn't her fault. She knew the truth deep down inside._

* * *

"And that's why even my aunt blamed me for her brother's death," Botan explained calmly, but Hiei did not miss the starting of tears in the corner of her eye. "Apparently, we were in a spot with a big undertow, and my parents got swept away. The flotation device was the only thing saving me from that."

Hiei nodded, understanding. "You were lucky," he told her. "It's unfortunate that it happened the way it did, but you have to know it wasn't your fault."

Botan looked at the man, alarmed, and defensively cried out, "But I asked-"

"Your father was the adult, not you," Hiei explained. "My father wouldn't even let me on this boat until he went over boating safety when I was a small child. It's extremely difficult to turn a boat while going extremely fast unless it's a slower turn. A fast turn can be made safely, but there's training for that on even smaller boats than what you were probably on, and it usually it involves deliberate movements and more space, not to narrowly avoid another vessel. He could have told you 'no,' told you it wasn't safe, and if he was going to be reckless, he and your mother should have been wearing life vests. I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but it was your father's fault it happened, not yours."

He noticed Botan's silence. She had yet to look up at him when he started his tirade. It couldn't be helped. He knew so much about boats and safety because of his father. The man had taught him respect for the ocean. It was a powerful friend and adversary, and one needed to be responsible for reasons just like this. He hadn't meant to be callous, but hearing this woman blame herself, knowing others blamed her when she had just been twelve angered him. She shouldn't be paying for something she couldn't control.

"I should go," Botan whispered, her voice hoarse, and Hiei knew then that he had overstepped his bounds. She beamed a forced smile at him and added, "Thank you for the food, but I have an early day tomorrow. Good night, Hiei."

The girl moved to leave, and Hiei made no move to stop her. He didn't really have a right to in that moment. She had opened up, and he had been brutally honest, and now she needed some distance. He knew the cycle well. She needed time to process his words. After all, he was merely a stranger to her offering criticism to the workings of her mind. The truth wasn't something she could accept, Hiei could see. She seemed to be the self-deprecating type, able to find flaws within oneself without seeing the flaws in another. Though they were similar, that is where they differed for Hiei knew his own faults but when to blame others for their role in his misery.

He hadn't intended to offer an opinion as harshly as he did, but it was out there now, and he both couldn't and wouldn't take it back. Besides, given her reaction, it seemed that it was exactly what she needed to hear. From personal experience, his most volatile and emotional moments were when he made a breakthrough about one thing or another in his life. Maybe this would be hers.

* * *

Days later, Hiei was out on one of his odd jobs when Botan finally came to his boat again. The time between their talk and now Botan had spent avoiding her neighbor. A sigh escaped the woman when she realized he wasn't there.

What he had said had hurt, a lot. For years, Botan had accepted that she was the one responsible for the death of her parents. Her aunt had felt the same, and though Yusuke had told her it wasn't her fault, no one had ever blatantly pointed out what could have been done differently. Hiei had been right. Logically, Botan knew that. She had tried years to rationalize that in her mind, but it never stuck. It wasn't like she spoke to just anyone about her situation. She was very secretive about her life. She never used to be so closed off, but she had to harden herself over the years or she wouldn't have survived this far.

Working at the club had made her vulnerable again because it forced her to be open about her body at least which then became highly emotional for her. She was never like that with or for anyone, and this job had brought that back to focus. Her senses were on alert, anxiety in full force, and the hard exterior she had developed was destroyed. Hiei had been the one to rescue her that first night, so it only made sense that she would latch onto him like he was her security. But he wasn't, never tried to be. He was just a good and honorable man who offered her resources and was brutally honest with her about what he thought. His words shouldn't have had the power to set her off, and they did because Hiei, who never asked for her trust, received it without her even giving her mind and heart permission.

Jeez, she was a mess if her thoughts and desires were that jumbled.

"Who in God's name are you?"

Botan jumped, tossed out of her own head, whipping around to face the owner of a very old and cruel voice. Purple eyes widened when Botan took in the form of an old woman. Her blue brows furrowed, and she reluctantly swallowed down her nerves. "I'm sorry?"

"I want to know who in the world you are?" the woman repeated.

"To you, no one."

Both Botan and the elderly woman looked to see Hiei standing at the head of the dock, arms crossed and expression bored. Still, his eyes were full of visible anger and hatred. Realization dawned upon Botan that this woman had to be Hiei's grandmother, the one who had abandoned him for downright petty reasons. Her eyes narrowed and she stood her ground. She wouldn't let herself be intimidated by this horrid woman.

Hiei's grandmother scoffed at the answer. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Her grandson didn't take the bait. "What the hell are you doing here on my dock?" he questioned. "Haven't seen you in a decade, and now you're here. Let me guess. You know Yukina has been checking up on me." The old woman was about to snap at him. "Well, I don't owe you an explanation and neither does she. Now, you can leave. I don't want you here. You're trespassing."

"Heh," the woman laughed derisively. "This hardly counts as _'trespassing.'"_ She sneered that last word so bitterly as she looked at the boat she detested. "This garbage heap is not even proper home."

"That's hilarious," Hiei deadpanned. "You actually think you have the right to comment on my living conditions when you barred me from entering what you would called a 'proper home.'" The humor in Hiei's voice was downright threatening. "In any case, this is my property and you _are_ trespassing, so leave before I get the authorities and go to hell."

"How dare you?" the woman hissed.

Hiei simply walked passed her and walked onto his boat. He had no idea how she found him, but he didn't care. His attention shifted to Botan, the woman glaring at his grandmother with heated eyes and clenched fists. His brow furrowed in uncertainty. Why was the woman so angry?

Apparently his grandmother had the same question. "What are you looking at, girl?"

"Nothing," Botan told her. "My eyes literally can't see anything you have to offer my friend who you so cruelly sent away." Both the old woman and Hiei gaped at her. "There is no reason why you should be here now. You are nothing and will never be anything but a horrible human being. Seeing you here makes me sick. Hiei is right. You should leave."

The woman stuck up her nose at Botan. "Like I would take any order from a woman who looks like she slept in a trash heap last night. Considering your _friendship,_ I believe that's not so far from the truth. I only came with a warning. My butler was driving around and saw you leaving your sister's home with your harlot here. Stay away from my granddaughter or there will be hell to pay."

"Yukina is a grown woman and insisted I be there," Hiei remarked. "Talk to her, not to me, about it, and she will no doubt tell you that she sought _me_ out and _not_ the other way around. Now get out of my sight."

The haughty woman crossed her arms and stood there not moving an inch. "What will you do if I don't?"

"Fine, don't leave," Hiei remarked. "Stand there all night for all I care and freeze to death. It's supposed to be a terrible night. Speaking of, staying for dinner?"

His eyes landed on Botan, and the woman offered him a smile. "Sure, why not?" She once again scowled at the woman and looked at her like she was the biggest scum on the earth. "It would be an honor." And then she climbed into the boat.

The two began a small conversation, not because they planned on talking about anything of substance, but simply to enrage the woman. She had come there to threaten her grandson away from his sister, but Hiei was unfazed. Botan, too, wanted her to see just how little she thought of her presence. The fact that they could ignore her so well while she was hovering over them infuriated the elder woman.

"Just stay away from Yukina," the woman ordered again before huffing, "I swear, you're like that no good, rotten scoundrel of a father."

That got Hiei's attention, his voice cutting off in that moment before he regarded the woman with the most repulsed look Botan had ever seen anyone ever give. Even the woman seemed to be taken aback by it as she finally turned and walked away. Botan looked to her neighbor, his fist clenched so tightly that his skin appeared white. His eyes were dark, and it was like he wasn't even there on the boat with her anymore.

Light returned, and he flinched slightly when Botan placed her hand on top of his, offering him a sad smile. He looked at her, perplexed. She only said, "You handled yourself really well."

With that, all the emotion that had been displayed instantly disappeared behind his usual stony mask. He nodded to Botan before handing her a bag of jerky from a bag he had. "Dig in," he told her. "Job paid well today. There's plenty."

"Thank you," Botan returned. "I'll make sure to pay you back tomorrow."

"No need," Hiei sighed, but he knew that would fall on deaf ears.

The two of them fell into their usual silence, then, but this even they felt a bit lighter, a bit closer. Hiei didn't know how he felt about that.

* * *

A/N: So the ending of the chapter kind of wasn't planned as it played out, and I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I think it turned out well. Anyway, again, sorry for the long time between updates. It hasn't been intentional. I'll try to be better with it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you, all you readers, for your patience. It's really appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

Hey all, I'm back, after a really long time, with another chapter, and also with some news. A friend of mine recently joined Discord to advertise her art. I've been using my DeviantArt account to advertise my stories and give updates, but I've decided to use Discord to do so as well. I'm still getting set up on Discord, but if you want to get updates on stories, access to future content, fanfiction and fandom discussion pages, a private grief/emotional recovery group, and more. If you're interested, you can PM me for my account name to add me or send me yours, and I'll invite you to my channel. I look forward to hearing from you ^_^

In addition to a Discord channel, I've also started a Tumblr page. If you enjoy my work, please consider following me there as well to offer support. You can even ask me questions about my work! ^_^

* * *

Hiei and Botan had fallen into a routine. Botan would still take a portion of her paycheck to donate as before, but now she kept some of it to pay Hiei back for his many kindnesses towards her. It had been about a month since the two of them had become unlikely friends. Hiei had her over for dinner many times. In addition to that, on the cold or rainy nights, Hiei would demand she stay on the boat with him.

The first time it happened, Botan had been shocked. Her clothes from Yukina were getting a bit worn, and they definitely weren't enough to protect her from the harsh elements. Hiei could see her shivering all night, and Botan never noticed the flicker of concern in his eyes.

They had been talking and drinking, and they played cards with a deck Hiei bought with money from another one of his odd jobs. It wasn't much, but it helped the two pass the long hours of the night. When Botan had gotten up to leave, Hiei had gently grabbed her wrist before she could wrap it around her form.

" _Stay the night."_

Botan protested, not wanting to cause him any trouble, but he was adamant about her not sleeping in the frozen alley. Actually, he demanded she stay because he had two beds, hammocks really, but it was more than the woman could have hoped for. Since then, Botan would bring home her dinner with plastic cutlery. They spent the evenings eating together, sharing the meal.

Each night, when Botan went to leave, Hiei found some other reason to keep her there.

The two developed this whole camaraderie. Every so often, they'd talk about their pasts. Sometimes they'd just drink and banter, Botan finally developing a taste for the cheap crap Hiei could afford. Usually when that happened, they'd make morbid jokes about some of it, Hiei indulging in his usually silent thought about how the boat could sink at any day. When Botan heard this, her hazy, amethyst eyes met his, a tinge of concern flickering through.

"What happens then?" she asked him, a strange sincerity and distress intoxicating her tone.

He answered her with honesty. "I'll probably go with it."

Hiei had expected the woman to say something senseless, to panic. He even worried his words might trigger her considering her tragic past, her parents' deaths ever on the forefront of her mind. She surprised him by doing none of it. Instead, she opened another can of beer, one of their last, and raised it up in mock cheer. "If that's going to happen, then we might as well continue the party." Hiei's lips curled diabolically, finding cruel amusement in the woman's strangely tantalizing and depraved words.

Clearly, Hiei should have stopped the party. The woman was drunk, most likely for the first time in her life, and he shouldn't have let her speak so disparagingly. Still, he was buzzed himself, so much so that he almost didn't care when she playfully threw herself at him, the woman sitting in his lap and bringing her face dangerously close to his.

 _Almost_ being the operative word…

Hiei felt awkward holding the woman, his arms wrapped loosely around her. He hardly had much experience save those horrid moments of his past. With the bitch in the past, though, Hiei felt fearful and helpless. Holding Botan, he felt none of those things. It was actually quite pleasant, to feel her developing curves pressed up against him, a sign that the food she had been eating was plumping her up to a healthy weight. The fact that he noticed this was not lost on him.

"You've had enough," he told her in a whisper. She was so close, he could practically taste the alcohol on her breath. "Go to sleep."

As if on cue, Botan attempted to continue the game they had been playing for the last couple of weeks, the one where she tried to leave and persuade him to let her. She hadn't won once.

She tried to get up off of Hiei saying her usual line, "I have to go back home."

Hiei's griped tightened on her, and Botan nearly felt into him. A smirk dusted his lips. "If you can escape, you can go."

"Not fair," Botan mumbled into his shoulder before a wave of exhaustion overtook her. It was probably the last three beers, the woman not used to drinking and having little food and water in her stomach for the day. She nestled her head against his neck, absorbing his heat, not noticing his entire form stiffen beneath her as she fell asleep on him.

Hiei was not feeling completely out of his element. The last time he was in a position like this with a woman…he took a deep breath. There was no way he was going to let _her_ get the best of him. His attention returned to the powder blue hair of the woman and her soft, delicate skin. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at the thought.

He didn't want to leave her alone to sleep on the floor, and he _knew_ she was not getting up to the hammock. A sigh escaped him as he adjusted their positions, grabbing the blanket they had been sitting on and wrapping it around her. Hiei curled up with her, falling asleep shortly after, and honestly it was the best he'd slept in the longest time. All because she felt so warm.

* * *

As this time passed, Yukina had shown up once again, running into Botan with her brother. Yukina could tell that Botan was still timid around her, but she expected as much. She knew that her brother and this woman lived in a world she could never understand. Truthfully, she just wanted to make sure they were okay and offer them whatever comforts she could. They deserved that and so much more.

When the inevitable invite came again, Botan was wary. She was afraid that she definitely would run into Kuwabara. As selfish as she felt it might be, Botan just didn't want to deal with him or their old friends. She didn't want to get in the way again.

Hiei had been surprised when Yukina showed up so soon with new clothes for him and Botan. As much as he wanted to refuse her handouts, he knew his sister would never stand for it. Besides, Botan did need some new garments so he needed to set some sort of example for her to follow. How could he tell her to accept his sister's generosity when he didn't? He wouldn't be a hypocrite.

Still, he knew Botan's concerns about running into Kuwabara, and he could see the fear in the woman's eyes. He stepped in, giving his sister a semi-white lie. "Botan has issues with men," he stated, shocking both Yukina and Botan. He didn't know if Botan's surprise was from the fact that he was stating this in her defense, the fact that he noticed this about her, or that he spoke up at all. Of course, given what happened to her as a child and after she left the club, Hiei was certain that wasn't too far from the truth.

Yukina's eyes softened as she looked to Botan, realization flooding her eyes. She knew that Botan left last time, and now she was starting to understand why. "Are you worried about Kazuma?" she asked. Before Botan could answer, Yukina added, "He's a very sweet man, but if he makes you uncomfortable, I can ask him to go visit his sister for the day. It will just be the three of us."

Botan had agreed, but when they were there for dinner she had regretted it. That night, Yukina asked Botan many questions about herself. She wanted to know the stories of her past. Beside herself, Botan reluctantly shared some of them not in great detail. Hiei was stunned that she humored his sister, but he didn't interrupt. As Botan spoke, he noticed her eyes dim, like she was withdrawing into herself and reporting the happenings of another person. The fact that she could detach herself so easily discussing this with another person bothered him more than he cared to admit, not when she was able to tell him with so much emotion.

The woman's emotional scars ran much deeper than he thought.

* * *

It was another random nights, days blurring together. Hiei didn't really keep track of time much, except sometimes when he checked the radio and always at night. Botan came by around midnight, sometimes an hour later, and that was how he marked the time. This night, though, Hiei felt like something was wrong. The woman should have been there by now, he knew. Somehow he could just tell.

Hiei was expecting her, but she didn't show up on time. How did he know? Well, he had felt off and checked radio. She wasn't on time.

Worry was not an emotion Hiei was used to feeling. He worried about his father and mother, and he also worried about his sister. She was in a good place though, so his concern was usually fleeting. Since Botan entered his life, those pesky emotions seemed to infiltrate his mind, but he did nothing to stop them. In keeping with that, Hiei left his boat and headed down the road to her workplace.

His blood boiled at the sight of the bastard that attacked her the first night.

Botan was backed against the wall of the building, fear in her amethyst eyes. The depraved look on the vile man's face was telling. Hiei could barely make out the sleazy remarks being made to the woman he was growing to consider as a friend. Well, Hiei didn't come looking for trouble, but by hell he was going to give some so that the disgusting cretin wouldn't harm her again.

He stepped up, his foot crashing down on the pavement, earning the attention of the guy and Botan. He went over to the woman and pushed her behind him, acting as a barrier between her and the sicko. "Get the hell away from her."

Botan's eyes widened in surprise, but the man found more amusement in Hiei's dark tone. He was stout and fat, old, and clearly deranged. The man actually laughed at Hiei only serving to anger Hiei further, his fist clenching hard as he forced himself to refrain from punching him. "I think I recognize you."

"I was the one to detain you last time you tried something with the woman," Hiei reminded him, voice cold, filled with the promise of danger.

The man was unfazed. "Oh, yeah," he recalled. He then chuckled cruelly. "Look, kid, get lost. You don't want to mess with Tarukane." But Hiei didn't move. He kept Botan blocked from the creep's, Tarukane's, view. Something seemed to register in Tarukane's mind before he turned away. "Suit yourself," he said before he walked away.

He stopped before he went too far, turning to look at Botan one last time. "I'll see _you_ again real soon."

They waited until he was completely out of sight before Hiei brought Botan back to the boat.

Hiei began to set out food for him and Botan, the woman curled up in a ball. Her mind was trapped in the thoughts of what could have occurred had he not shown up to rescue her for a second time, he was loathe to admit. Had he not been there, it could have ended badly, and that didn't sit well with the man. He looked to Botan, his voice cutting through the barrier her mind was erecting. "I am going to start accompanying you to the strip club," he told her. He was met with a disbelieving stare.

Botan was pulled from her thoughts, and her shock was evident. Soon, though, her shock gave way to her ire. Her eyes narrowed. "No."

"This isn't open for discussion," he growled. "You're not going alone again."

"I didn't ask for your help," Botan argued back. "I appreciate it, but Hiei, _I_ have to do this. I don't want you there. You're not going with me."

"You haven't asked for my help," Hiei repeated, "and yet you've needed it twice." Botan flinched, but then glared at him. "Don't you know what would have happened each time if I didn't intervene? You would have been at his mercy. Hasn't that happened to you more than enough already?"

Botan felt the jab, and it hurt her so deeply that Hiei would throw her past in her face. "Screw you," she whispered quietly before getting up and climbing out of the boat.

Alarmed, Hiei demanded, "Where are you going?"

"Home!" Botan shouted. "Don't worry; you don't need to help me again. I was doing fine on my own before you!"

She left, and Hiei had to fight the desire to reach out and pull her back. He was angry at the woman, bitter over the fact that she was refusing his help. He looked to the plate of uneaten food and watched as she rounded the corner into the alleyway. Well, if she wanted to play it that way, fine. He wouldn't try to assist her, never again.

Even his mind knew that that wasn't true.

He couldn't get over the disgust he felt when he saw that same man near the woman. The rage he felt could only be rivaled by what he felt when his grandmother degraded his parents. He cared more than he wanted to admit, didn't even know how it was possible. He was loathe to admit that his own ire had stemmed from feelings of jealousy in addition to his abhorrence of that vile human being. As he thought this, Hiei asked himself what the hell he had to feel jealous over and he realized how sick it sounded. He looked to a half-drunk can from the previous day and downed the remnants of the beer. It wasn't nearly enough to numb him, but he needed to try to temper his fury and turn in for the night.

After all, if the woman came back, he needed to keep calm. A decent night's sleep was the only way to accomplish that.

* * *

She couldn't believe who she found walking on the busy street. It had been so long since she saw him, that boy, now a man. The woman smirked viciously. She made him into that, handsome, rugged, and brooding. She tossed her red hair over her shoulder and followed him.

Hiei looked just as delectable as she remembered and a lot less vulnerable. Ruka smirked. It didn't matter. She was sure she could break past his guard. The woman was completely surprised to find him heading towards a boat. If she remembered correctly, his father was a sailor. This must have been all he had left. _How sad_ , she thought with slight amusement.

Her eyes caught sight of a blue-haired woman coming from the alley behind. Ruka's brow quirked. Who was this woman? Then, her gaze narrowed when she saw the girl walking towards Hiei's boat. She stopped there, looking a bit saddened and sheepish at first before Hiei spoke perhaps two words that caused the woman to wear this beaming smile. A growl escaped Ruka's lips. Seriously, what was this woman? Who was she? And why did Hiei seem so familiar with her?

Well, the girl walked away and started heading towards where Ruka was. The sultry redhead watched as the girl walked by like nothing was wrong. She looked a bit dirty as she walked into an establishment. Ruka smirked when she realized. This girl, she was nothing more than a stripper, someone who used her body for money, and nothing more. _Pathetic._

She waited around, shopping in the area until later in the evening. Then, Ruka stayed close to the strip club. Around twelve o'clock, the blue-haired wench came outside, and Ruka approached her. She was glad she hadn't been kept waiting much longer. It was getting cold, and Ruka was _tired_ of waiting.

"Hiei doesn't need a girl like you." The girl froze and looked down to the ground before turning to see the stranger. Ruka smirked at the bemused and startled expression she wore. She was just a child, wasn't she, but far from innocent if she sold her body at night. "You can't give him what he desires."

"I…" Botan spoke, still stunned. She didn't get a chance to respond when Hiei showed up in front of her the night before. His expression was the same but filled more with burning hatred. Botan could almost feel the heat radiating off of him as his whole body tensed and shook.

Hiei had been watching from the boat. He and Botan had talked that morning. She had expressed how much his concern had touched her, but she had just been so used to doing things on her own and living on her own without having anyone to tell her what to do that she reacted so harshly. Hiei understood. If the roles had been reversed, he would have acted the same way. They agreed, though, that if Botan had another incident, Hiei would definitely be walking her there and back without question. Of all the nights for Ruka to show up, this was probably the worst.

He said nothing to the witch as he silently confronted her. She looked so pleased with himself that Hiei actually felt the desire to rip her apart. Instead, he took Botan's hand and dragged her away from the woman. He didn't even stop when he heard Ruka's protesting "hey!"

Ruka watched, irritated, but she decided to leave. She accomplished what she set out to do, anyway. He knew she was there, and his little whore would now have doubt. Taking one last glance, she kept a mental note of where Hiei now "lived." This wasn't the last he'd see of her.

* * *

Back at the boat, Botan asked Hiei about the woman as they got their dinner together. His jaw clenched, and he continued with the task without saying anything. He seemed so incredibly angry with her, and Botan felt back. The woman had been very attractive, and the way she spoke sounded like that of a jealous woman. Botan wondered if she had been Hiei's girlfriend. Maybe that's why he had been so angry. His next words took her aback.

"What did the bitch say to you," he asked coldly.

"She…" Botan started nervously. "She said someone like me couldn't give you what you needed." Hiei looked up and glared straight ahead. "But I didn't say…" She paused and took in his tensed features. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Hiei said a bit too hurriedly.

Botan looked at him, guilt written all over her. "I never intended to get you in trouble with your girlfriend."

Hiei felt like his had been struck in the gut, his core and body frozen. He looked to Botan as if she had stabbed him. "W-What's wrong?" she asked. He said nothing. "H-Hiei?" Gently, she moved to touch him.

He grabbed her wrist hard on instinct. The woman cringed from the pain, Hiei loosening his grip on her. Botan looked to him perplexed. He couldn't blame her. She had been open about her experience, and yet he left her clueless to the darker parts of his past. "She is not my _girlfriend,_ " he admitted, bitterly spitting out the last word. "She is a witch, a horrible human being."

"What did she do to you?" Botan asked gently, pulling her wrist away from him and taking his hand instead. Hiei gripped her offered hand tightly, like a lifeline. Botan didn't mind. She just moved closer to him as Hiei confided in her all of what happened. As Botan listened, her expression dropped, her heart aching for the kind man who had gone out of his way to help her. He was such a good soul, and he did not deserve what happened to him.

She offered him comfort, taking pride in him. Even though Hiei had felt he needed to suffer that way because he needed the shelter or resources, he proved he could get by without that harlot. "Clearly you didn't need anyone, because you are so strong, resilient, and amazing."

Hiei looked at her baffled before looking out at the water. "You say the strangest things…"

Botan simply smiled and looked out at the ocean and at the stars. She leaned into Hiei, giving him the chance to relax against her after he tensed before leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt this warm and bubbly feeling arise inside of her when he didn't push her away.

* * *

A/N: I pretty much have no excuse for why this took a year to update other than life and a need to write more fluff instead of trauma. I have the story mapped out for the most part, and there really wasn't a need for that. Here is me hoping it won't be another year. In any case, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading!


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